I volunteered to write the series ‘Le fit c’est chic’ a long time ago, when I still believed I was a healthy person that would get up in the morning or come back from work full of motivation to run, climb, HIIT (don’t know what this is? No worries, I’ll get back to it eventually) or do yoga. I was supposed to use this space to write upbeat posts about how women should could use fitness and other healthy behaviors (whatever that means, now that I think about it) to keep healthy and proud.

I recently found out that when I was that person I WAS NOT NORMAL.

Normal is being too tired not to sleep an extra hour. Normal is being too tired to do whatever after work – especially if you leave work after 10 to 12 hours of meetings with people you consider less intelligent than yourself. Normal is eating a frozen pizza before bed and drinking an expresso for breakfast. Normal is going to work half an hour after you leave bed, having dinner half an hour after you leave work and going to bed after half an hour of watching TV.

Please notice that this description leaves no room for exercising, cooking, walking the dog for more than 5 minutes, going to the cinema, reading a book, starting a project, planning a wedding, having a family, drinking with friends or having sex.

Well, if I’m going to put it like this, I DON’T WANT TO BE NORMAL. Who, in their right mind, would choose this scenario?! So, instead of a getting-back-to-shape type of thing, this series is morphing into my getting-back-to-not-being-normal diary.

Getting-back-to-not-being-normal lesson #1:

It is NOT as easy as they want you to think.

All of those fitness and health gurus – like personal trainers and doctors, who gave them the authority?! – are always saying it is soooo easy to get in shape and choosing a healthy lifestyle…

I call bullshit! It is so effing hard! Do they not realize how hard it is to have the motivation to do anything when you are fat, pudgy, hungry and slow like the rest of us mortals? We suffer to get to the remote when it isn’t in reach, because sitting down on the couch and finding a position in which nothing hurts due to our poor posture in front of the computer all day – yes, we all have than hunchback in common – was SO hard and took SO much effort and time. Time that we do not have!

Don’t you dare telling me that I’m just finding excuses to keep being a lazy moron. I’m tired! We are all tired! Stop judging us, you miserable gym rat! You eat powder and flex for a living!

– Gasp. –

It is not easy so don’t jump into it just because you are bored – I am so bored. Jump into it because you really want it. Or, better yet, because YOU HAVE TO. Otherwise YOU’LL DIE. Or at least you’ll not be living. Exhibit A: me and my depressive speech in lieu of the happy-pink-post I was supposed to write.

Forget all the commercials and fitness blog’s articles and listen to me for now on – because I’m such an authority on the matter, cof cof. We’ll start next week. Do some Kegel exercises for a warm up or something.

BONUS: Click here for a how to guide for Kegel exercises.